Well I’ve done it again. I have manged to successful shoot myself in the foot. One of the wonderful things about being an actor is that we get to study the human condition. This includes the study of ourselves. We get to introspect, observe ourselves, figure out and question why we do what we do. No this is not narcissism, its call being an actor. Our bodies, our being are our instruments. That’s what we have to work with.
Over the years I’ve realized something about myself. I get lonely and that loneliness leads to a feeling I’d like to avoid like the plague. Its the kind of loneliness you can feel. It drapes around you like a cloak, it is so thick and dark you can literally feel it choking you. That kind of loneliness usually leads me to do anything to fill up that space, anything to avoid feeling it. Those fillers are not good, the usual suspect is food, the not so good kind.
Since I know this about myself I’ve put in healthy practices which includes my mantra. ALWAYS BE REHEARSING. I actually got this from the David Mamet film/play Glengarry Glen Ross. The character Blake played by Alec Baldwin tells the other actors to A-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Closing.
I found that this mantra has helped me though I changed it to A-B-R. A-Always, B- Be, R-Rehearsing. I know that after a long day working a day job, where things were slow on the acting front and I had no auditions, then I better have a rehearsal scheduled. How else will you know that you are an actor. I honestly don’t know how actors that aren’t “working actors” meaning their life is supported by the money they earn from acting, can not be in an acting class.
I swear if I wasn’t in class and had scenes to work on, I’d be lost in depression everyday because I am certainly not getting the auditions I want or have the agent that I want right now. So in order for me to avoid that feeling of giving up or giving in to depression of not being where I want to be. I am always rehearsing something, I try to schedule a minimum of one rehearsal everyday.
But not this week. This week I shot myself in the foot, oh yes I did. I managed to schedule my rehearsals, but a couple of my scene partners had to cancel and/or reschedule. Then I let time go by and didn’t follow up to make it happen. Well Friday night came and uh huh loneliness was there waiting. So I had to do something quick! I’m very proud of myself for not giving into the food. If you follow me on Facebook and saw my posts, then you know what I’m talking about. Instead I watched films off of our class movie list, I learned lines, I read. I basically did not give in.
I have been working so hard on my weight loss and just getting my goals accomplished I was not going to throw it all away. But I did realize that I must, absolutely with out a doubt have my evenings planned. Everyday I must do what actors do. Rehearse, read plays. I have to feed my inner artist daily or else I’ll succumb.
So leave a comment, let me know what are some of the ways you keep yourself motivated when thing get slow on the acting front!